


Thinking Of You

by Foreverlarrup



Series: Slotting Puzzles [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 20:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreverlarrup/pseuds/Foreverlarrup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall doesn't stop going to Harry's when Louis stays at his apartment, because even though there's three people eating all of Harry's breakfast foods now, it's okay because Louis is going back to Liam soon.</p><p>Louis always goes back to Liam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You're so fucking needy, Liam, always needing someone to pat you on the head and tell you that you're not a complete fuckup.” 

 

“I fucking hate you, Louis, I do, I don't know why we're still together-” 

 

“Then why don't I just leave?” 

 

“...Leave then.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Louis doesn't know what started their fight, doesn't understand why they were both being so cruel to each other, but he does know that he's outside of his own apartment, a hastily gathered bundle of clothes and personal items in his arms.

 

He doesn't know where he should go- and fuck, he can hear Liam sobbing through the door, dammit, Liam needs him right now, but Liam told him to leave, fuck.

 

Louis knows that Liam's going to cry it out with a pillow, and he's going to want a cuddle and a nice warm cup of tea afterward, and fuck, Louis can give that to him, but they're not- they're aren't-

 

He presses the tips of his fingers to the door and bites his lower lip, ready to go back in and beg Liam to take him back, because Liam needs him and damn if he doesn't need Liam too.

 

But then he hears shuffling footsteps behind him, and turns around.

 

It's Harry, keys jingling between his fingers and groceries piled high in his arms, clopping up the steps. “Oh, hey Louis.” He starts to smile, but then frowns when he sees Louis's expression. “Everything okay?”

 

Louis shrugs and doesn't bother to hide the way he sniffs wetly. “Got in a bit of a tiff with Liam,” He says, hugging his clothes tighter to his body.

 

There's a pause, and Harry shifts around from foot to foot. “Well... do you need a place to stay?”

 

Louis looks uncertain for a few seconds, then nods. “If it's not too much bother.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Harry says, stepping up to his door and fumbling with his keys. “As long as you need.”

 

Louis's lips quirk up at the corners.

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

Louis wakes up when someone knock at the door. He can hear water running, so he assumes that Harry's in the shower and pads off the couch to open the door.

 

It's Niall, fresh out of bed with his pajamas on and hair floppy soft. He doesn't look too surprised to see Louis, just tosses a 'good morning' over his shoulder as he darts into the kitchen.

 

“Morning, Niall,” Louis says, following him into the kitchen. “Why are you here?”

 

“Harry and I always eat breakfast together,” Niall tells him, piled high with different types of jams and butter from the refrigerator.

 

“Oh,” Louis says intelligently. He sits at the table, unsure of what to do.

 

“Morning,” Harry says from behind them, toweling his wet hair and accidentally flicking wet droplets on both the table and Louis.

 

Niall raises his hand in reply and nearly drops the raspberry jam.

 

“Careful, Niall.” Harry makes his way over to the bread box. “You want toast, Louis?” He turns to look at him. “I have cereal too, if you want that instead.”

 

Louis shrugs. “Toast is fine.”

 

“So how did you sleep?” Harry asks, popping bread into the toaster. “I know the couch is a bit lumpy.” He makes a apologetic face.

 

“No, the couch was fine,” Louis reassures, and the couch was perfectly fine, it was just- well. It's difficult for Louis to sleep when Liam isn't curled around him, and knowing that he was only a apartment away just made it worse.

 

“Well, it's not like you're going to be on Harry's couch forever though, are you?” Niall says, almost conversationally, but way he dips a finger into the grape jam, slow and a bit shaky, tells Louis differently.

 

“I don't know, Nialler,” Louis says honestly, fingers fiddling with the hem of his sleep shirt. “Liam's really mad, and we've been fighting a lot...” He trails off, feeling sheepish. “I don't know.”

 

Harry turns away and busies himself with the toast.

 

Niall's eyes follow him, lips turning down at the edges, and Louis feels a bit like he's missing something.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A week passes and Louis still hasn't talked to Liam yet. His entire week felt stilted and odd without Liam next to him, but he's scared that if he does talk to Liam, then they would both decided that it would be for the better if they broke up, and- fuck.

 

Louis won't be Louis without Liam.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He goes to the bar where Zayn works, wants to drink away his thoughts about Liam (should I talk to him should I move back should I break up), but then he sees Liam sitting at the counter, fuck.

 

He has one of his textbooks and a neon yellow highlighter next to him, of course, but the book's not even cracked open- He's just talking to Zayn, fingers loosely cupped around a condensing drink, head tilted up and smiling. He looks happy.

 

Louis exits the bar quietly, wondering how Liam could be okay, _happy_ even, when Louis is fucking miserable.

 

He finally lets himself cry, huddled in the corner of shower with scalding water beating down his back, and can't bring himself to care when he wastes all the hot water.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Two weeks pass, and Louis still hasn't talked to Liam yet.

 

They bumped into each other in the hallway once, but Louis was with Harry, arms full of groceries, so Liam just averted his eyes and hastily reentered their apartment.

 

(or was it just his apartment now?)

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Three weeks. Harry brings alcohol back to his flat, the bottles announcing their presence once he enters the door, clanking loudly together in a plastic bag.

 

Harry makes Louis sit with him at the couch and they drink vodka in front of the telly, some trashy reality show playing on the screen. Soon neither of them are paying any attention to it- they're talking, about everything and nothing.

 

“Fucking miss Liam,” Louis tells Harry, a bottle nestled in his arms. “I do, I really do,” He slurs, wiping at his mouth. “Liam was fucking perfect for me. I should go back home to him.”

 

Harry pretends that he's wincing because of the burn of vodka. “No, mate, you really shouldn't.”

 

“But why?” Louis asks, head lolling against the backrest of the couch. “He'll take me back, right?” He frowns a bit, looks down at opening of his bottle. “He usually takes me back.”

 

Harry sighs. “He wouldn't want to see you like this, pissed out of your head. Wait till you're sober.” Forget this when you're sober.

 

“What if he doesn't take me back?” Louis says, quiet enough that Harry almost doesn't catch it.

 

Of course Liam would take Louis back- Liam loves Louis, just like how the sky is painted blue and how grass grows greener in the summer. But a darker side of Harry prompts him to say, “You can stay with me forever then.”

 

Louis smiles, so Harry kisses him.

 

Louis doesn't even hesitate to kiss him back.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Four weeks go by and Louis now only sleeps in Harry's bed.

 

Niall doesn't eat breakfast with them anymore.

 

(And they don't talk about Liam.)

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Being with Harry is very different then being with Liam.

 

Louis has Liam mapped out in his head; he knows what spots to press and suck on, how to make him gasp and buck up into Louis's touch, what to whisper dirtily into his ear to get him coming hot and heavy.

 

But Harry's a enigma, a mess of secrets and barely there hints, and Louis loves exploring his body with his fingers and mouth, slowly discovering how to rub him just the right way, what to say that would make him come undone, begging and whining.

 

But fucking Harry is also fumbling around in the dark, stuttering fingers and awkward positions, “is this okay, are you okay with this?” stumbling off their tongue, unsure and scared, and Louis hates it but he can't help but to think about Liam.

 

(Liam would know what to do Liam's got this all down Liam knows me better then I know myself Liam Liam Liam).

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

“It's almost been a month, Lou.” Harry says a week later, flopping onto the couch next to Louis.

 

Louis hums noncommittally, flipping an unread page of To Kill A Mockingbird. “A month of what?” He asks, even though he knows what Harry's talking about- it's a month of Louis-without-Liam. (a week of LouisandHarry, but he's too scared to think about what that means.)

 

“A month since you and Li-” Harry pauses, sucks his lower lip into his mouth. “Since you moved in,” He decides.

 

Louis just turns another page in his book. He doesn't understand why Harry's bringing this up- he was perfectly fine with the two of them awkwardly pushing aside anything that involves Liam.

 

“And well,” Harry flushes a bit, pushes his toes deeper into the carpet. “I was wondering what we were.”

 

Louis shrugs and snaps his book shut. “What do you mean?” He sets it on the coffee table and stands up. “We're just Louis and Harry.”

 

Harry's face falls a bit and he busies himself with pulling threads from the corner of his shirt. “I guess, I just thought,” he takes a deep breath, “maybe we were a bit more?”

 

Louis mumbles something about showering and darts off to the bathroom.

 

Coward.

 

Harry scowls and leans over and picking up the book from the coffee table. He sees Liam's name in faded sharpie scribbled on the top left corner of the cover, a messy heart replacing the dot above the i in Liam.

 

He kicks it under the couch.

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

Louis reappears from the bathroom a while later, hair wet and dripping onto his striped T-shirt. “I'm sorry about earlier,” He says, leaning against the kitchen door frame.

 

Harry shrugs, doesn't look up from where he's chopping celery. “It's okay.”

 

There's a few beats of silence, and Harry sighs and puts his knife to a side. “I just don't understand why you have to be in this weird limbo with Liam right now. Shouldn't you at least be thinking about getting your stuff out of his apartment?”

 

Louis bites his lip.

 

“Or maybe you can get your name off the lease?” Harry forges on. “I mean, you're technically paying for rent in a place you don't even live anymore.”

 

Louis rubs his hand over his face. “It's not that easy,” He says through his fingers, slow.

 

“But it can be!” Harry tells him, taking a few steps forward. “At least just talk to Liam and clarify that you guys are broken up.”

 

“Why?” Louis asks, annoyed. “Why do you even care about me and Liam?”

 

Harry exhales loudly. “Do you even have to ask?” (You've been kissing me and fucking me and telling me that I make you feel amazing why why why can't you understand that I just want you to myself?)

 

Louis opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. “I just-” He cuts himself off and looks to the ground, teeth gnawing on his lower lip.

 

“Look,” Harry says, swallowing. “This... relationship isn't going to work if Liam's always in the background like this.”

 

“I'll talk to him, okay?” Louis says tiredly, running a hand through his floppy hair.

 

“I'm not saying you have to chose-” (yes yes yes he is but this isn't a romcom and he might not get the guy in the end) “but I am saying that you should talk to Liam or something. Just so we're all on the same page here.”

 

Louis pads over to the doorway and slips on his Toms, and Harry can't help but to think that pushing the issue was a huge mistake.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Louis doesn't even have the time to work up his courage- the second he opens the door, he sees Liam standing there,slipping his key into the apartment door lock.

 

“Hey,” Louis says, softly, shutting the door to Harry's apartment behind him.

 

Liam twists his head back, blinks. “Hey.” He turns around to face him properly.

 

They just stand there, Liam with his keys still dangling in the door, Louis with his feet still on Harry's tacky pink welcome mat. 

 

Liam's wearing his dorky Captain America shirt, a strip of his stomach showing from where his sweatpants don't quite cover. He lifts his fingers to his mouth, as if he's about to chew his nails, but immediately pulls his hand back to his side, making a weird aborted gesture, and it's such a Liam thing to do that Louis can't help but to smile.

 

“I missed you,” one of them says, doesn't matter who, because then they're striding to each other, chests colliding somewhere in the middle of the hallway, and Liam's hands are coming up to grip Louis's cheeks, and then they're messily kissing.

 

Louis lets himself be lead into Liam's apartment and ignores any thoughts that don't consist of the way Liam's pressing against him, warm and familiar.


	2. Thinking Of You (2/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Louis are teetering on the edge of a tightrope, balance barely there, so it's not a surprise when they crash and break one day.

Liam and Louis are teetering on the edge of a tightrope, balance barely there, so it's not a surprise when they crash and break one day.

 

It starts with another one of Liam and Louis's fights. They're screaming screaming screaming and Niall's thinking about leaving to Harry's apartment, where there's no sounds of crashing ceramic and hurled insults, but then a door slams shut and it's quiet.

 

Niall uncovers his head from where they were buried under his blankets and listens.

 

He hears shuffling out in the hallway and muffled sounds, but then there's Harry's voice, clear as glass. “Do you need a place to stay?”

 

A beat passes.

 

“If it's not too much trouble.”

 

And then there's Harry's reply, slow and soft, “Yeah, sure. As long as you need.”

 

Niall burrows his head under his pillow and pretends that he doesn't hear Liam's quiet sob through the wall.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Niall eats breakfast with Harry usually- Harry keeps his house stocked with homemade jam that his mother sends him every other month, and there's way too much for Harry to consume on all his own, so Niall helps him out.

 

He doesn't stop going to Harry's when Louis stays at his apartment, because even though there's three people eating all of Harry's breakfast foods now, it's okay because Louis is going back to Liam soon.

 

Louis always goes back to Liam.

 

Liam cries a lot, and Niall hates it, covers his ears and leaves the apartment whenever he hears Liam through the walls. (He hears his mother weeping and asking him why she wasn't enough for his father, what did she do, why did he leave her, why why why), but then it's okay because Zayn starts to go over to Liam's, and he holds Liam in his arms and wipes away his tears, murmurs silly little nothings into his ears.

 

Liam cheers up around Zayn, and Zayn starts to get a small spark of hopefulness in his eyes, and Niall wants to scream “What no no stop you can't, not Liam, anyone but Liam,” because Liam loves Louis and he might never stop.

 

Louis is going back to Liam soon, Niall tells himself, and Zayn will slowly get over it.

 

(And the rush of boys and girls going to Zayn's apartment at night dwindles down to nothing.)

 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

But then two weeks pass and Louis is still at Harry's, sprawled over the couch sleeping and snoring loudly, and Niall starts to get even more worried.

 

Then one morning Harry texts him, 'can you eat breakfast by yourself today?' and Niall doesn't know what to think anymore.

 

It's not like Niall's not friends with them anymore- Harry and Louis still sometimes go over to his apartment to play video games or watch the telly, and it's a bit awkward because sometimes Zayn's already at Niall's apartment, and they all have to ignore the way he gets up to leave whenever the other two enter.

 

(It's obvious that everyone else has picked sides, and he's glad that no one is pressuring him to do the same, because he honestly doesn't know what he would do if he had too. Maybe just lock himself in his room and avoid all human interactions. )

 

He still doesn't know what Liam and Louis fought over, but it's pretty obvious in the way Louis touches Harry, hesitating but soft and gentle, and how Harry smiles at Louis, like they're quietly sharing a secret.

 

Niall wants to hate it, because Liam still sometimes cries over Louis, and Louis doesn't seem to know or care.

 

But-

 

But Harry's so much happier when Louis is pressed to his side.

\---------------------------------------------------

But then Louis and Liam-

 

Well.

 

It's not like they can be kept apart for that long, is it? (Soulmates since they were seven, lovers since they were fifteen, best friends forever and ever).

 

He sees Louis pressing Liam against their apartment door, hands rucking up his shirt and the both of them mumbling how much they missed each through kisses, so he quietly slips back into his own apartment, all thoughts of dashing down to the grocery store to buy a yogurt gone from his mind.

 

He feels relieved for a few seconds- Louis and Liam are back together again and finally things can go back to normal-

 

But then he realizes how stupid he is to think that; he remembers Zayn and how hurt he would be, and Harry- Oh, Harry.

 

He crawls into bed, pulls the covers over his head, and tries to forget the rest of the world for a night.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

A loud knock on his door wakes up him up. Niall blearily gets up from bed, stumbling over clothes that are haphazardly thrown on the ground.

 

He cracks open the door, peeks his eyes out. “Hello?”

 

Harry's standing at his door, hands twisting the fabric of his coat, eyes drawn down. When he looks up, his eyes wet and rimmed with red, lips trembling a bit.

 

“Harry, are you okay?” Niall asks carefully. (how stupid of course Harry's not okay, of course he's not).

 

“Are they back together?” Harry asks. His voice is quiet, desperate. “Please tell me they're not back together,” He says, shaking his head, curls swishing with every move.

 

Niall swallows. “I'm sorry.”

 

He watches Harry slowly crumple to the ground, legs tucking up to hide his body. “He said he wouldn't,” Harry mumbles into his knees. “He said they were over for good.”  
“It's not that easy,” Niall says, sliding down next to Harry. “He and Liam have been together since high school.”

 

“I know. That's what makes me so stupid,” Harry rubs his hands along his face. “I knew it, and I still-” He stops, shoulders shaking, but Niall knows what he means.

 

He's in love with Louis.

 

Niall lets Harry cry on his shoulder and snuggles him until they both fall asleep on the wooden floor.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Niall wants to ask how Zayn is, wants to find out if he's hurting like Harry is- but he doesn't know how. Zayn's all sharp angles and crass words without Liam there to soften him.

 

The rush of single people starts at Zayn's apartment again. (But now it's just girls).


End file.
